Vanessa bohns book5/28/2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() But you forget that your ability to accommodate others isn’t an endless well,” Anhalt says. “It’s also possible that you say yes because you deeply want to help. ![]() Nicole Washington, a board-certified psychiatrist and the chief medical officer of Elocin Psychiatric Services.Īnother reason yes pours out of us? Our past.Īccording to Anhalt, while growing up, you might’ve not learned to advocate for yourself. Or, we don’t want to disappoint a good friend or hurt someone’s feelings, notes Dr. Emily Anhalt, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Coa, an online mental fitness club. So, we might blurt out yes because we don’t want to be seen as difficult, says Dr. Bohns writes in a 2016 research review examining people’s influence over others, “Many people agree to things - even things they would prefer not to do - simply to avoid the considerable discomfort of saying ‘no.’”įor example, a series of small studies, published in 2014, found that when asked, many people would acquiesce and commit unethical acts, such as telling a white lie or vandalizing a book - even when they felt these acts were perceived as wrong.Īs social creatures who want to be part of the herd, we also want to preserve our relationships. For starters, it’s important to realize that if saying no is challenging for you, you’re not alone.Īs social psychologist Dr. ![]()
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